


It's Not Personal, It's Just Drag

by caffeinatedCreep



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, And Aerith is alive and well, Asexual Rude, Attempted Assault, Bisexual Cloud Strife, Bisexual Lazard Deusericus, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Zack Fair, Drag AU, Drag Alternate Universe, Drag Queen AU, Drag Queen Alternate Universe, Drag Queens, F/F, F/M, Heterosexual Cid Highwind, Heterosexual Shera, Heterosexual Tseng, Homosexual Angeal Hewley, Homosexual Genesis Rhapsodos, Homosexual Male Character, Homosexual Sephiroth, In which Rufus Shinra isn't a total dick, Lesbian Elena, M/M, MLM Rufus Shinra, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Reno, The Turks are bartenders, Unclear motive or goal, WLW Cissnei, Yay diversity!, cid isn't sexist btw, messy ass tags club, p much the relationships in the original game can be disregarded, weiss is reoccuring and threatens cloud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinatedCreep/pseuds/caffeinatedCreep
Summary: Cloud Strife has been doing drag in Nibelheim since he was sixteen, and has always had the dream of becoming a first string performer at the most famous drag club, SOLDIER, run by Shinra Entertainment. When he turns twenty-one, he finally feels ready. With the well-wishes from his mother, best friend Tifa, and his small fan club, he takes the journey to Midgar alone. But once he arrives at SOLDIER, he’s almost immediately told no. Promising that he’s a quick learner, he gets them to take him on for second string. His assigned drag mother, the prominent, sensual, and desired-by-all Sephiroth, isn’t too keen on mentoring his drag daughter at first. With the help of newly promoted Zack Fair, and Sephiroth’s closest friends Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley, Cloud begins to grow and soon becomes popular with the regulars. But emotions can often get in the way, and the workplace has never been a place for romance.((The title is a quote from miss Alyssa Edwards, one of my personal favourite drag queens. This is an AU I came up with while waiting for season nine of RuPaul's Drag Race to start. Ridiculous? Yes.))





	1. Drag Names & Various Other Tidbits

**Author's Note:**

> Of course a drag AU of FFVII is the first thing I post to AO3.

First off, the drag names of our lovely queens!

\+ Cloud Strife: Winter Hart  
\+ Zack Fair: Miss Moxie  
\+ Sephiroth: Mother Jenova  
\+ Genesis Rhapsodos: Luv  
\+ Angeal Hewley: Minerva

 

The various other tidbits I mentioned:

\+ Cloud's mother & Zack's parents are supportive of them.  
\+ Aerith often comes to SOLDIER to see Zack.  
\+ No Tifa/Cloud/Aerith triangle!  
\+ Tifa, a long time ago, had a crush on Cloud.  
\+ Sephiroth is still Lucrecia Crescent & Hojo's son; she's still dead, and Hojo disowned him.  
\+ Genesis ran away from home and never came out.  
\+ Angeal followed Genesis, and is just now starting the process of telling his mother.


	2. Don't Get Bitter, Just Get Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into what started it all, and where it's all lead to.

**The humble, backwater town of Nibelheim isn’t known for much.**

The people keep to themselves, and when their children grow up, they have a tendency to remain in the village rather than exploring the rest of the world. It’s a quaint little bubble, really. The queer community in Nibelheim is small, private, and very quiet. It consists of fewer than fifteen members, the two most notable being Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart.

 

**Cloud Strife is sixteen.**

An odd merchant was in town, and Cloud finally went to see what he was selling on his last day. The man took one look at him and smiled slyly, making Cloud tense up. When the man’s gaze tore away from him, he sighed in relief. Within moments it was fixed on him again.

“You’ve heard of SOLDIER, yes?” the merchant questioned, bouncing a wig stand in his hands. When Cloud nodded his head, the merchant cheered quite loudly and thrusted the wig stand he held into the younger man’s hands. “Have you ever considered doing drag yourself?” Sucking in a breath a bit too sharply, Cloud coughed and gasped for air. He had kept his interest in drag a secret from everybody, but had he been doing so poorly that a man he didn’t even know could pick up on it?

“I may have given it a passing thought,” he said after his coughing fit was over. The merchant nodded, more to himself than anything, and produced a wig from seemingly nowhere. It was beautiful; the same shade of blonde as Cloud’s natural hair, but instead of sticking up in points, it was softly curled. Without so much as a noise, the merchant rested the wig on the stand that Cloud still held.

“I’ll give you that to start with. That’s all I can offer to a baby drag queen like you. But I expect you to become a big name someday. Don’t disappoint me.” Cloud nodded once, twice, and on until the merchant nodded back. Satisfied with the answer, he packed up his things and prepared to leave Nibelheim in favour of some other small town. As the man’s vehicle began pulling away, Cloud remembered his manners.

“Thank you!” he yelled. A hand shot from the open window, holding out a thumbs up, and he felt something itching in the back of his head. Looking to the wig he held, he ran for home and took the stairs up two at a time. Locking himself safely in his bedroom, he looked in the mirror before taking the wig off the stand. Slicking down his hair the best he could, he tugged the wig on. Despite the pieces of his real hair that stuck out in a couple spots, it looked natural. It looked…Right. But not with everything else. Looking down at his clothes, he shook his head. “But I have nothing else…” Pulling the wig off, he set it on the stand and admired it for a moment before tucking it away in his wardrobe. “Can’t get any use out of it right now, so why leave it out where somebody could see?”

Something akin to embarrassment coiled up and sat in the pit of his stomach, but it was too light for him to feel at that moment. Taking a seat on the edge of his bed, his legs bounced and after a moment he began drumming his fingers on his thighs.

“Should I tell Tifa?” he asked the empty room. The question bounced around in his skull for a good minute before he had his answer. “Not until I have everything.” Satisfied and much less nervous, he got to his feet. Unlocking the door, he crossed over to his window and opened it. Climbing out, he took a seat on the small ledge outside and watched the sky. With a contented smile, he leaned back against the house and closed his eyes.

 

**Nibelheim is usually peaceful in the morning; nothing but the sun rising and the roosters crowing.**

When it comes to Tifa Lockhart, however, you can never expect the expected to happen.

She’d woken up extra early for some reason, and the first thing she had done was turn her radio on and listen to the boring news reports. As usual, advertisements played in between stories. They were boring as well…All except one.

“Have you ever wanted to meet a queen?” it began. The voice sounded unfit for radio ads, and Tifa looked over at the radio in curiosity. “Now may just be your chance. The drag queens of SOLDIER have been planning a tour for the past six months, and it’s finally coming to life.” Sitting up, she leaned towards the radio, as if that would make the message come faster. “Queens like Mother Jenova, Luv, and Effie Cent will be present, as well the newest member of the main line, Miss Moxie! For show locations and ticket purchases, call--” Tifa was already on her feet, ready to run over to Cloud’s house to tell him. She got the number, waited for the next ad, and then dashed down the stairs.

Her parents didn’t ask where she was headed, and Cloud’s mother let her in without question. Bursting into Cloud’s room, Tifa didn’t stop running until she jumped onto his bed. Cloud made an odd noise, clearly startled and a bit irritated, and rolled over.

“Cloud, guess what.” He ignored her, most likely attempting to go back to bed. “Cloud, I think you’ll wanna hear this.” Yet again, there was no acknowledgement. “We can go see Mother Jenova perform.” That got his attention; Cloud sat up the second the name was mentioned. “As well as Luv, and Effie Cent, and all the others!”

“How though?” he asked, suddenly doubtful. “The largest town in the vicinity is Cosmo Canyon, and tickets would probably cost more than what we have together. And wouldn’t we need to be legal, or accompanied by someone who’s legal?”

“Who knows what locations they’re visiting, honestly. Same for cost. But it doesn’t hurt to try! Do you have something I can write the number on?” Cloud leaned over to the nightstand, retrieving a small notepad that was almost gone and a pen with a little Chocobo topper. The look Tifa sent him was enough to make him look away in embarrassment. After writing down the number, she passed it back. “We check location & cost, and we either get fake IDs or you convince the guy who just moved in.”

“Why do I have to?” Tifa smirked a little at his reaction, and Cloud’s face turned a light shade of pink.\

“He clearly likes you and wants to get to know you, and I _know_ you think he’s cute. Plus, he’s seventeen already. It’d be perfect; you’d get a date, and get to see your goddess all at once.”

“She is not my goddess,” Cloud mumbled, looking away from Tifa and catching sight of a picture hanging above his vanity. It was a painting of Mother Jenova he’d bought from a travelling artist. “Alright, maybe I do treat her like one, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh but it does.”

 

**Cloud Strife is twenty-one.**

“I fucking hate Mother Jenova. Actually, scratch that. She’s great. But she’s a character.” Cloud was sat at the bar at SOLDIER after hours; it was him, Zack, and Reno. “Sephiroth is a total dick.”

“There’s a reason I warned you way back when,” Zack commented. “You idolized MJ so much at that show; I didn’t want you to meet her in the off-chance she was pissed and had reverted to Seph.”

“Maybe my life would be better had he.” Reno, who had been listening in for most of Cloud’s rant while cleaning the glasses, couldn’t help but pipe in.

“Are you sure it’s just Seph? You did say that you haven’t had luck in bed re-”

“Thanks for the input Reno, but I’ve gotta cut you off there.” A flush climbed Cloud’s neck, but neither Zack nor Reno could figure out its origin. “All I know is that I have to get great; I have to get famous. I have to prove that I’m not a lost cause. _I have to surpass him_.”

“Well good luck then. MJ’s not an easy one to beat.”

“And that’s exactly why I’m going to do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really difficult to decide on how to write this, hence why it took so long. Now that I've got a feel for it, though, it should be a little more frequent???
> 
>  
> 
> If there's any mistakes, like paragraphs incorrectly separated or something, tell me please.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading this mess by the way! I wanna make a playlist for it but I'm not sure yet.


	3. I Don't Get Cute, I Get Drop-Dead Gorgeous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because someone's a bitch doesn't mean they can't be nice.

**SOLDIER is a small building.**

Or, well, that’s how it seems. The entrance is above ground, fitted between a bar and some store on Loveless Avenue in Midgar. The building up above isn’t much to see, yet signs point it out and exclaim its name all the time.

The club and bar are all below ground, in a basement that goes deeper into the earth than most warehouses reach for the sky. The stages cover two walls, and the long bar another. There’s a dance floor, and then the tables. In the harsh light of the overhead bulbs, the room looks bland, but under neons and smoke, it comes alive.

Cloud found himself falling in love with the building and its atmosphere that first night, even if he’d been blatantly told he wasn’t good enough. The main stage was where the queens belonged, and the side stage always had a handful of second-string drag daughters go-go dancing in between sets.

 

**Sephiroth never let Cloud onto the side stage.**

“Why? How do I know if I’m improving if I can’t even perform?” he demanded, standing tall as Sephiroth stared down at him with hooded eyes. He almost looked bored, and that only served in fueling Cloud’s anger.

“You’re doing back-up for me. You may not be good, but you’re better than them,” Sephiroth answered after an uncomfortable silence. “And you want to be noticed by the patrons, right? Go-go dancing will get you nowhere.”

Cloud still wasn’t satisfied, and left Sephiroth in an upset huff. He found Zack quickly, and immediately bombarded him with his frustrations.

“Hey, hey, hey! Seph’s not just being a dick this time kid.” Cloud shut up mid-sentence, blinking in surprise. “Angeal did the same with me. The regulars get to know you, just like they know your drag mom. If you show enough promise, they’ll want more from you. It’s a lot easier to tell if a second-string girl is worth it that way.”

“Well, he’s still…” Cloud trailed off. His anger had faded, and now he just felt stupid. “Is that really it?” he asked after a moment.

“Sephiroth is all about practicality, in and out of drag. I can’t see there being any other reason,” Zack answered honestly. Cloud looked away, almost flinching, and there was a clear look of shame on his face. “Apologize maybe?” Cloud didn’t answer, simply walking away. He wouldn’t admit it, but he felt as if he did need to apologize…But there was no way in hell he’d do it.

 

**Sephiroth hates Cloud’s drag aesthetic.**

Or rather, hates how unpolished it is. Cloud’s go-to mug is a blonde wig, eyes heavy with mascara and eyeliner, rosy cheeks and a red nose, and pouty lips with clear gloss. His clothes are always frilly panties and short babydoll dresses, typically paired with knee-highs embellished with bows and platform Mary Janes.

To Sephiroth, a perfected fetish queen and dominatrix, it was…Well, it was basic. Cloud, however, seemed unwilling to part with it entirely, so he would have to find a way to step it up.

The night of Cloud’s debut, Sephiroth made sure he was ready before getting ready himself. Surprisingly, Cloud was cooperative throughout the entire process.

“We’re going to make your wig bigger, and playing up your makeup as well,” Sephiroth commented as he worked on finishing Cloud’s wig. Behind him, he was getting tucked. “I’m ordering various different pairs of tights, gloves, and bodysuits that give the illusion of doll parts. If you want to stick with babydoll so badly, going for actual doll may be the best bet.”

“I can definitely see it,” Cloud said as he slipped his clothes on. Since Sephiroth’s performance was sensual, slow one, he was opting for lace and garters rather than ruffles. The dress that had been approved was much more form-fitting at the bust, with a peek-a-boo cutout and lace-back. He’d never actually worn it, and was a bit nervous.

“You’re sure you’ll be able to perform in the boots?” Sephiroth asked, satisfied with his work on the wig and turning to Cloud, who nodded. “You better not be lying to me.” Cloud scoffed, tugging the thigh highs on. They were platform, like his typical Mary Janes, but the heels were stilettoed. Thankfully, he’d had Tifa to make sure he could rock any heel, no matter the size.

“Alright, let’s get this new face done with.” Moving to the chair in front of Sephiroth’s vanity, Cloud reached for his makeup bag.

“For the sake of time tonight, I’m going to do everything after your base.”

“I know, I know.”

“You remember all of the choreography? All the lyrics?”

“Yes, Seph, I’m ready. I might not be good to most of you, but I’m not brand new.”

“I would rather be strict and safe than lax and sorry.” Dressing in the rest of his costume, he watched Cloud through the corner of his eye. He clearly knew what he was doing, with how fast he was working, but he always did such a simple face that his speed was, really, to be expected. Just as Sephiroth’s sheer robe slid onto his shoulders, Cloud sat back.

“Alright. Paint me up, I guess.” As Sephiroth swiveled the chair to face him, Cloud added in, “Just don’t make it cakey.”

“Who exactly do you think you’re working with?” The faintest hint of joking was in Sephiroth’s voice, and Cloud laughed a bit.

“What a surprise! You’re capable of joking!”

“If I’m up to it. Just don’t tell the others.”

 

**Cloud Strife may not look it, but he is one hell of a performer.**

Even though he’d never performed with another person, he still nailed every last part of the number with Sephiroth. The regulars who didn’t recognize his face caught Sephiroth before he was able to leave the stage, bombarding him with questions.

“My god, Jenova, I’ve never seen you perform with another queen…Much less one so different from you!”

“What’s this little one’s name?”

“There must be something between you two to work together so perfectly. Tell me there’s something going on there!”

“Alright, alright, calm down. I’ve just recently become the drag mother of this one right here, but I wasn’t going to condemn her to go-go dancing,” he answered, unbelievably calm despite how rude and pushy some of the patrons were being. “Winter, would you be a doll and come here?” With a nod, Cloud rushed over. “You should introduce yourself.”

“Oh! Of course! My name is Winter Hart; I’m new to SOLDIER. Mother Jenova was kind enough to help me improve on what I was lacking. I’m truly grateful.” Cloud had practiced that little speech all day, expecting the words to taste like acid as he finally said them in context, yet they flowed smoothly. The regulars gathered around were obviously scrutinizing him; determining if he was “worthy” of Sephiroth’s tutelage.

“You definitely did save this one from go-go hell,” someone near the back commented.

As Sephiroth looked at Cloud with damn near approval in his eyes, he found himself saying, “Yeah. I sure did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'know when I said I'd update? That was such bullshit. Like, I love this idea and writing it is actually pretty easy but...Goddamn, having the motivation to write fanfiction when I'm working on something that could be published outside of the internet? It's hard man.
> 
> Again, any mistakes, just tell me and I'll fix 'em.
> 
> Thanks for reading dudes & dudettes! Playlists were made, but they made me cringe so they're no more. Oopsie.


	4. Shantay You Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes breaking the rules can harm you, but sometimes it helps.

**Cloud isn’t supposed to perform with others.**

There isn’t a rule stating that he can only perform with his drag mother, no. It’s more along the lines of: you may only perform with other drag queens as a second-string with your drag mother’s approval. And though Cloud has found that he doesn’t hate Sephiroth nearly as much as he thought, he still found the whole situation ridiculous.

And that’s how he got in trouble for performing with Zack.

Zack Fair -- or rather, Miss Moxie -- was a club kid, for lack of better description. The persona was loud and colourful and far from fitting a label. But Zack’s drag was still tame; he doesn’t often go full club kid for a look. His performances, however, were a blend of theatre, art, and club all in one.

Cloud admired the seamless combination of all three elements; the storytelling of theatre drag, the emotion of art drag, but the energy and dancing of club drag. So when Zack said he needed someone to play the other character in a performance, Cloud jumped on it. The role even fit his persona: a marionette that got dragged into a child’s kaleidoscope nightmares.

He was excited for the routine, working with Zack in secret every moment they were free. Often times, one of the bartenders would keep watch. Cloud wasn’t aware of how much wrath could be sent his way if Sephiroth found out, but they all did.

 

**The routine was awfully odd.**

The routine ended with the child -- more like a teenager -- killing the marionette, believing it to be the cause of her nightmares. All she had to do was cut the puppet’s strings and it was over. Dropping to the floor in a heap was difficult at first, but Cloud eventually got it.  
When all the choreography and lyrics were memorized, Zack sat Cloud down and showed him the concept art for the marionette’s look. He’d have to paint on the lines and hollow his eyes, but the face was strikingly similar to his usual face. The cheeks and nose were rosy, with freckles splashed across. Darkly lined eyes were heavy with lashes. He’d have to overline his lips to achieve the pout, but that was simple. It was the cartoon-like tears that would be a challenge.

“Can I see yours?” he asked after looking the costume over as well. Zack turned the papers to face him. The child was definitely meant to be a teenager. The messy black pixie cut and flat eyebrows were the only normal features. The face was a mix of clown and jester makeup, some of it perfectly intact and some of it smudged. What looked to be tear tracks cut through the paint. The costume was even more odd.

“I didn’t wanna go full on little girl because, let’s face it, that’s really fucking creepy. But there were elements I couldn’t just leave out,” he said, pointing out the giant, askew bow on her head. The dress was one half child’s nightgown, one half oversized t-shirt. Plain panties peeked out. But it was the socks and gloves that threw Cloud off. They were every colour under the sun, in as many patterns as they could fit.

“I see the nightmare’s dreamscape has a part in her clothes,” he commented absently. Zack nodded and sat back.

“Believe it or not, this was what I hoped my first performance as a first-string would be. Angeal’s great and all, but pageantry isn’t my bag. Even though he’s done well in conjoining pageantry and club, it’s still too...I dunno. It’s not what I started drag for, and it’s not what I wanna do. But, y’see, with how I made it -- being taught -- I still had to listen to Angeal after being bounced up. That’s how it is here at SOLDIER. If you can take a concept from your drag mother and do it well, then you can do the same with your own.” The revelation made Cloud scowl as he sat back as well. Sephiroth’s performances involved lots of props, or others. What Cloud had done back home was more just...Dancing. Having fun, and making people feel as energetic as he was. Could he really take one of Sephiroth’s sensual concepts and perform it well on his own?

 

**Sephiroth practically lives in SOLDIER.**

He’s there every night, even if he isn’t working. He’s only gone if he has to be. He helps the other queens get ready, encourages the go-go dancers, and watches all the performances he can. In between sets, he’s at the bar, chatting idly with one of the Turks as he nurses whatever they made for him.

Sephiroth is devoted.

So Zack knew he would see Cloud in his performance. Maybe not recognize him, but he’d see it. And after Cloud did spectacularly, he’d tell Sephiroth. At least, that was his plan. It was all going right, until Sephiroth knocked on Zack’s door and walked in.

Cloud was too busy tucking the notice who had entered, but Zack had frozen up. With half of his face done, he stared with wide eyes.

“I wasn’t aware you performed tonight, Winter.” Sephiroth never called Cloud Winter out of drag unless he had to; that was the first sign of his anger. His voice, though calm, was never that cold; that was the second sign. His aura only intimidated those he wanted to intimidate; that was the third. Gulping, Cloud lifted his head.

“Zack needed someone and it sounded really fun,” he started, finishing his tuck in a rush and folding his hands. “He said it would be on a night you weren’t performing, so I assumed that...It would be...Alright.”

“Are you aware of how much trouble you could get in for this?” Crossing his arms, Sephiroth tilted his head.

“I could get kicked out, I know. But this is a type of drag I’ve never done. It would be a good learning experience.” Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed, but the rest of his face remained still. It wasn’t that he was upset with Cloud. It was more that he finally knew what he was doing with all of his spare time; that he had kept it all secret.

“You’re supposed to receive permission for a reason.” Cloud attempted to intervene, but Sephiroth held a hand up. “It’s so that you don’t have to sneak around all the time. So that you don’t use the time meant for relaxing on more work.” Cloud wilted when he saw the look in Sephiroth’s eyes. Though narrowed, he could see the look of betrayal. “I had thought you trusted me enough to ask for such things. It seems I was--”

“I’m sorry! But I couldn’t handle another no from you! I want to learn all I can from my time as second-string, and this looked like the perfect opportunity, and I was afraid you’d take it away from me!” Cloud hadn’t meant to burst out like that, or for his eyes to water. “I care about drag too much for it to be ripped away from me.” Zack had remained silent throughout the entire confrontation, but finally spoke back up.

“Seph’s not gonna kick you out man. You’re too much like him.” He’d finished his face, and turned to look at Cloud. “You wanna tell him, or should I?”

Sighing, Sephiroth dropped his arms and said, “I was kicked out of my home at sixteen. I’d had a fling with a boy, and my parents found out. I’d like to think my mother didn’t have a problem with it, but I’ll never know. My dad forced me out. I picked up drag while on the streets, and eventually found my way here.” Moving to stand in front of Cloud, Sephiroth rested a hand on his shoulder. “They wouldn’t take me as first-string. Said I wasn’t even worth second-string. But I begged and pleaded and cried. One of the queens offered to be my drag mother, but the boss -- Rufus’s dad -- was wary. I was a Turk for a good while, because that’s all they offered me.” With a shaky hand, Cloud wiped the tears away. “I fought way too hard to get where I am to kick someone with talent out.”

 

**Cloud isn’t one to fall for someone easily.**

Yet here he was, growing more and more fond of Sephiroth with each day that passed. Reno took to teasing him every moment he got, though it seemed he was the only person who had noticed.

Cloud himself mistook the fondness for admiration and gratitude. After all, it was with his help that he was becoming more polished and people were starting to notice him. Even if they had their failings -- and there were plenty -- Sephiroth was civil and courteous at all times.

But it was for those reasons that Cloud had every reason to fall for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THERE TO BE ANY RELATIONSHIPS OTHER THAN ZACK AND AERITH BUT FUCK HERE WE ARE.
> 
> It literally just felt the natural progression from how I've been writing this. I don't even ship Cloud and Sephiroth. I literally ship Zack/Aerith and that's it. I'm not sure where this will go now, honestly.
> 
> Thanks for reading babes! (Goddamn is this fic a mess though. But fun? I guess?? I HOPE???)


	5. Emotions Are For Ugly People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Cloud realizes he isn't as self-aware as he thought.

**Cloud isn’t one for heart-to-hearts.**

In his mind, they allowed people to be more intrusive than he would ever like them to be. Tifa had been the only exception, but they had known each other since birth.

So how was it that he sat in Sephiroth’s living room, nursing a glass of wine, saying things he hadn’t even told her?

“When we were little, I had a crush on Tifa. But I grew out of it pretty quickly. We were too much like family; it was like that with everyone in Nibelheim,” Cloud mumbled thoughtfully, swirling the dark red wine around idly. “Every once in awhile someone new world move in and I’d catch a feeling for them, but nothing lasted. I found that I wasn’t interested in who they were; Nibelheim tends to bring out people’s true nature.”

“So you’ve remained single?” Sephiroth asked, tapping his nails on his empty wine glass. Cloud shook his head.

“Just before SOLDIER’s tour a few years back, a new boy moved into town. He was cute, so I talked to him when I had the chance. Then one day he just...Kissed me. We were together until I moved.” Sephiroth hummed lowly and set his glass down. The clink of the glass on wood made Cloud lift his own glass to his lips.

“You are of age, right?” Sephiroth asked suddenly, eyes fixed on the merlot splashing in Cloud’s glass. He watched it disappear past his lips, entranced for a moment, until the sound of Cloud swallowing made him blink. The movement of his throat made Sephiroth cough as he continued, “Wouldn’t want Rufus getting upset with you for drinking with me.”

“I turned twenty-one right before I moved to Midgar, so yes. I’ve been of age for a while now.” Only a small pool of wine remained in the glass as Cloud set it down. “It feels like SOLDIER has been busier than usual,” he commented offhand. Sephiroth nodded as he reclined in his chair, ankles crossing as his hands rested in his lap.

“A rumour leaked about the next tour.” Cloud’s eyes widened; he hadn’t heard anything about a new tour. “Which brings me to why I asked you over tonight.” Pressing his palms flat against his thighs, Cloud forced his gaze to remain level as he met Sephiroth’s. “Rufus asked whether or not I was alright with you coming along.” Cloud gulped. “As more than just pre-show entertainment.” Sephiroth paused, watching Cloud carefully. “We’ve never had a second-string take part in a main-show performance while on tour.” He could see the desperation for the answer in Cloud’s eyes. “Continue to work hard and impress me, and you might get to premier as a first-string queen.”

A cry of joy slipped out of Cloud before he could stop it, and he was on his feet before his brain had even finished processing the information. Sephiroth smiled on slightly, eyes sliding closed in content. He missed as Cloud crossed the short distance between them and leaned over to hug him, practically falling on top of him in the process.

“Thank you so much…” Cloud said, voice muffled by Sephiroth’s clothing and hair. “The tour five years ago changed me, and...To get to perform at one is a dream come true.” Eyes having shot open the second Cloud had fallen on him, Sephiroth stared at the shock of blonde hair impairing his sight. His small smile grew a bit as he hugged Cloud back loosely.

‘I see myself in you.’

 

**Reno and Elena had a bet over when Cloud would realize his feelings.**

Elena thought that, despite Cloud’s openness and comfort with his bisexuality, he wouldn’t be so open to the idea that he’d caught feelings for his drag mother. Reno, on the other hand, thought that, though Cloud wasn’t the best with socializing sometimes, he wasn’t entirely unaware of himself either.

Elena gave it two months.

Reno gave it two weeks.

As real life would have it, they were both wrong. Cloud figured it out less than a week after the bet had been made.

The realization had came to him on his way home after work. The night had been a revamp of one of Sephiroth’s older performances, a good chunk of which involved Cloud being strapped into a chair. All throughout the performance, he’d been jittery and nervous. He couldn’t understand why; he’d never gotten like that before, not even from the first time on stage.

But as he rode his bike home, the white noise of Fenris’s motor helped his head clear up. His thoughts stopped flying around, and lined back up. And as he went down the line, he was struck with something that nearly sent him off the road.

All of his newfound admiration for Sephiroth -- not Mother Jenova, Sephiroth -- wasn’t from respecting him as a person more. It wasn’t gratitude or friendship. It was him being just as attracted to Sephiroth mentally and emotionally as he was physically.

But it wasn’t that thought that nearly had Cloud swerving onto the sidewalk. No, it was the realization that he had found Sephiroth to be one of the most attractive individuals -- in and out of drag -- that he’d ever seen, but also the realization that he hadn’t even noticed his attraction until then.

Cloud, a man who prided himself in being self aware, was proving to be a bit of a fraud.

When he got home, he didn’t bother with changing or showering. He ran straight to his room, grabbed his phone, and called Tifa. Even though she had recently moved to Midgar to work at one of the local bars, he couldn’t tell her any of this face-to-face just yet. He wasn’t even sure if he could tell himself it yet. Tifa picked up instantly, but the sound of Seventh Heaven’s late night crowd made her hard to hear.

“Let me get upstairs, alright?” she shouted into the phone, obviously covering the microphone as she left the counter and ascended to the upper level. When she removed her hand, Cloud was met with the muffled murmur of the bar and Tifa’s breathing. “Alright, what has you all riled up?”

“I think I’m in love with Sephiroth.”

“Cloud, I’ve known this for years. Mother Jen--”

“No, not Mother! I’ve looked up to Sephiroth’s drag persona for years -- practically idolized her -- and loved her, yes. But I didn’t know Sephiroth, the person behind Mother.” Cloud had to stop to catch his breath; he hadn’t realized how quickly he’d been talking until there was only silence on his end. “Do you remember what I told you right after joining as second-string?”

“Yeah, you said Seph was being a real jerk.”

“Exactly.” There was nothing but quiet and stillness on both ends of the phone until Tifa gasped lightly.

“Oh. Oh my god. You said you hated him with all of your being,” she whispered. Cloud heard the faint squeak of springs as Tifa sat on her bed. “Do you want me to come over?”

“No!” Cloud yelled without a moment’s hesitation. Cringing at the volume of his voice, he dropped it and added, “I mean please, don’t. I can barely believe any of this myself, and I...I just don’t think I can talk about this to someone in person just yet.”

“It’s alright,” Tifa assured on the other side. “But if you need anything, call me. I’d drop everything if you needed me.”

“Thank you...And you know I’d do the same.” Exchanging quick goodbyes -- Tifa had been away from the counter longer than she’d meant to be -- the two hung up. As Cloud finally stripped of his day clothes, he glanced at his bedroom mirror. It was full-length and bracketed to the wall. Just like the mirrors at SOLDIER.

Ripping his eyes away, Cloud padded into his bathroom. Meeting his own eyes in the mirror, he forced the hesitance from his voice and said:

“I, Cloud Strife, am in love with Sephiroth.”

 

**Cloud doesn’t tend to keep secrets from Zack.**

After Tifa, Zack was his best friend. He was also close with Zack’s girlfriend, Aerith. So, when Cloud needed somebody to help him hide his attraction at work, the first place he went asking after was Zack and Aerith.

But he could see the way Zack’s eyes glinted after Cloud told him, and didn’t miss Aerith’s low warning to keep it secret.

Cloud knew that, in a week’s time, Sephiroth would know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST TO NOTE EMOTIONS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS THAT EVERYONE HAS.
> 
> Also, holy shit, this is the fastest I've ever updated???
> 
> Can't wait for the gay to come to fruition.


	6. When I See Something, I Say Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **FIRST OFF, A TRIGGER WARNING: there is an attempted assault of unknown motive in this chapter. It is mentioned in the tags, but this is the only chapter I intend for this to be in.**
> 
>  
> 
> Even the strongest people can break down.

**Angeal and Cloud didn’t speak much.**

They greeted each other and were nice and civil, but they weren’t friends, like Cloud was with Zack. At SOLDIER, Genesis was the social veteran queen, Sephiroth the mysterious one, but Angeal? He was the stoic, even during performance. It was a niche school of drag, but that didn’t seem to be a problem for him.

So when Angeal asked Cloud to step off to the side with him to have a talk, Cloud was a bit taken aback. Had he done something wrong? Had he hurt Zack somehow?

When he looked into Angeal’s eyes, typically so emotionless and calm, he caught sight of turmoil and frustration. Seeing such unbridled emotion made Cloud gulp in dread.

“I heard from Zack that you have an interesting secret,” Angeal mused, taking a seat at the end of the bar. No one was close to them except Rude, who hadn’t even seemed to notice their presence. “And I have something important to tell you.” Folding his hands in his lap, Angeal sat silently for a minute, giving Cloud time to back out. When he remained in place, watching on with fretting eyes, he continued. “I have known Sephiroth since Genesis and I ran away from Banora. He was the first person other than ourselves that we’d met who was gay. But even in all those years I’ve known him, I haven’t seen him fall in love once. He barely ever had any flings, either, if I’m remembering correctly.” Cloud’s legs had started shaking, and he gripped the bar counter to keep himself on his feet. “If you hurt him, Genesis and I won’t hesitate in carrying out vengeance. But, at the same time, if he were to hurt you...We would do the same to him. And Zack would too.”

“With respect, I must say that I believe you’ve got my intentions wrong,” Cloud whispered, voice shaky and a bit strained. “I want to keep it a secret, not pursue it. So that all would be unnecessary.” Clearing his throat and locking his knees to stop his quivering, Cloud sighed. “But I very much appreciate the offer, and...Warning.” Bowing his head and sucking in a breath, Cloud quickly turned on his heel and headed for the bathroom.

When he got a look at himself in the mirror, he broke down.

 

**Sephiroth comes across as cold, but is caring in his own way.**

When Genesis and Angeal had bad fights, Sephiroth consoled them both individually and gave advice in a low, soothing tone.

When Zack’s boyfriend before he’d met Aerith -- Kunsel -- left him for being a drag queen, Sephiroth sat quietly beside him as a comforting presence.

When Aerith’s flower garden got ruined by snotty kids in her neighbourhood, he helped her pick out the new ones to replace them and stayed along to plant them as well.

And when he found Cloud huddled underneath a sink, heels of his palms digging into his eyes in a feeble attempt to curb his tears, he rushed over and knelt in front of him. He rested a hesitant hand on one of Cloud’s knees, and spoke softly.

“Cloud?” The wet sound of sobs ricocheted off the walls and grew in volume, nearly drowning out Sephiroth’s voice. “Cloud.” Pressing down a bit on his knee, Sephiroth leaned forward. Gripping one of Cloud’s hands, he tugged just slightly on it. Finally noticing that he wasn’t alone, Cloud looked up from behind his hands and ripped his hand away. Turning his head, he hiccuped as tears kept falling.

“No one was supposed to see me like this,” he choked out, shoulders shaking.

“Like what? What is this?” This time, Sephiroth kept his hands in his lap, though he didn’t lean away.

“No one knows. No one has a name for it -- well, no one I’ve seen about it -- and I thought it had gotten better.” Stumbling through a breath, he slumped down and rested his temple on his knee. “But I was wrong.” Cloud’s hands laid limply at his side; he had no energy left in him. Wanting to help in some way, Sephiroth gently touched the back of one of Cloud’s hands. He jolted and pushed himself off the wall, knocking into Sephiroth’s shoulder as he got to his feet. “I’m-- I’m sorry, I just--” Swiping at the tears drying on his skin, Cloud turned away from Sephiroth and made for the door.

Cloud Strife, a man who never ran away before, ran out of SOLDIER as fast as he could.

 

**Cloud rarely got lost in his feelings like that.**

He didn’t have perfect control of them, but he could at least face people who so clearly wanted to help. But to let Sephiroth see him so broken and defeated wasn’t an option. And so, Cloud ran. He ran with clouded thoughts towards home, forgetting about Fenris in his rush to escape. A bomb could have gone off next to him and he wouldn’t have heard it over the screaming alarms in his head.

When a man nearly twice his size stepped out of the shadows, he didn’t hear the footsteps. When he caught up to him with ease, he didn’t hear the breathing. He probably wouldn’t have felt the man grabbing him had he not been jerked to a stop. Spinning around in panic, Cloud looked up at a terrible face and felt himself wilting internally. The man was a hulking mass of pale skin and paler hair; he would have almost looked like a relative of Sephiroth’s, if he hadn’t been wearing a cruel and sickening smirk that made Cloud’s blood run cold. Hands balled into fists, he pounded on the man’s chest.

“What the hell do you think your doing!” he yelled, voice shrill from his terror. “Let me go.” The man looked down at him, one eyebrow quirked, and only tightened his grip on Cloud’s waist. He was pulled flush against the man’s body, and what he felt made his stomach drop. He didn’t have enough leverage or energy to strike at the man and do any damage, but his writhing and resistance didn’t cease. They couldn’t.

 

**Sephiroth wasn’t the chasing type, yet he ran after Cloud without hesitation.**

How could he not, though? He was concerned and afraid that Cloud would do something that could potentially harm him.

He knew how to get to Cloud’s apartment, so it was easy to follow his path. When he saw Fenris left behind, he knew he would catch up.

He didn’t know that he would come upon some unknown man grinning wickedly down at Cloud, pressing him into a wall. Though the exact details of the man’s intentions were unclear, it was obvious that he had malicious intent.

With a fleeting thank you to his father for teaching him how to fight, Sephiroth called, “And just what is going on here?” Forcing himself to at least appear calm, he approached the man slowly. Cloud’s assaulter turned, irritation flashing across his face until he saw who had spoken to him.

“Oh look, Mother’s come for you,” the man purred. Pushing himself off of Cloud, who hugged his arms close, the man stepped towards Sephiroth and crossed his arms. “But I wonder, what will she do?”

Plastering on the saccharine yet poisonous smile he’d inherited from his father, Sephiroth lifted one of his fists and said, “This.” The smile dropping into a glare, he spared no time throwing the first punch. The sound of the assaulter’s jaw popping made Cloud squeak. He knew he had to stop this before Sephiroth got hurt, but he could only think of one person that would fit the job. Clumsily getting his phone from his pocket, he dialed the number of Seventh Heaven.

Tifa picked up on the first ring with a sugary sweet, “Hello, this is Seventh Heaven. What do--” Cloud cut her off, voice breathy.

“Tifa, please put your boss on the line,” he whispered, flinching at the sound of another punch. His assaulter had attempted to punch Sephiroth’s nose, but hit his jaw instead. There was shuffling on the other end of the phone before Tifa’s boss’s voice rang through. “Barret, please, I need your help. Someone tried to...I don’t know, to assault me, and Sephiroth is fighting him and I’m--”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down kid! If you need my help, I’ll be there. But where are you, exactly?”

“The road connecting Loveless Avenue and the street Seventh Heaven is on.” Barret made a promise to get there as fast as he could, and Cloud nodded numbly. He could see blood dripping from Sephiroth’s chin; what caused it, he couldn’t tell. But he felt guilt coil in his stomach with each new drop that fell.

 

**Barret keeps his promises, because he’s a good man.**

He’d told Tifa to get the police before he left, and found Cloud in minutes. Thanks to Barret’s intervening and smart thinking, Sephiroth didn’t have any broken bones, just a split lip and a black eye. Nothing makeup couldn’t cover.

Sat on the couch in Sephiroth’s living room, Cloud avoided eye contact all together. Sephiroth pressed on the cotton that had been shoved in his mouth to keep himself occupied.

“I’m so sorry,” Cloud whispered after an eternity of silence.

“Cloud…” Dropping his hand, Sephiroth watched Cloud from a few feet away. “Cloud, I know.”

“Know what?”

“I know that you’ve in love with someone.” Internally, Cloud fought with himself to keep from looking over at him, but he lost.

“What?”

“I won’t ask who. I just hope they’re good to you.” With a lopsided smile, Sephiroth gestured to the kitchen. “Would you like a dr--”

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just binge wrote this all. Fucking love me.
> 
> Also, I appreciate all the comments recently!!! I don't reply to them all, but trust me, I read them and appreciate them!!!
> 
> I'm literally fucking dying and this fic is the cause. I love this concept so much???


	7. Get Ready To Gag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the mother-fuckin' moment y'all have been waiting for  
> \---  
> very dialogue and back-story heavy this chapter  
> some info has changed; angeal's drag name is minerva

**Sephiroth isn’t easily taken aback.**

After everything that’s happened in his life, he’s learned to take almost anything that’s thrown at him in stride.

But Cloud’s sudden, blunt, and very awkward confession had Sephiroth sucking in a breath and tensing up. Just a few feet away sat Cloud, perched on the very edge of the couch and staring at him with a mortified expression.

“I didn’t-- I didn’t mean to say that, I’m so sorry.” Cloud blinked a few times, before looking down at his hands. He was never like this.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Sephiroth started, taking his time in responding. “But I would like to know if you meant what you said.”

“Why though?” Curling his fingers around the fabric of his pants, Cloud lifted his eyes and met Sephiroth’s gaze tentatively.

“I...Haven’t heard those words in a very long time.” His tone was odd; he was clearly forcing emotion out of it as best he could. But the sadness was still so evident, and as he looked away, Cloud felt his own words dying in his mouth.

He’d planned to say that it was an accident and that he hadn’t meant it, but there was no way he could now. To brush it off as nothing would be the cruelest move he could ever make, and he liked to think he was better than that.

“I’m...Sorry,” he whispered, unsure of what to do or where to look. Sephiroth had tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, and he remained silent. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why haven’t you heard ‘I love you’ in so long?”

“Did anyone ever tell you about where I came from?” Cloud’s silence was answer enough. “You know the manager at SOLDIER, right? Vincent?”

“Of course. He’s the one who always tells us Mr. Shinra’s new plans.”

“We come from the same area. I think he’d agree with me that it wasn’t the best place to grow up queer.” Running a hand through his hair, Sephiroth finally looked at Cloud again. “My mother died when I was young, so my father had to raise me. Before I came out, I wouldn’t say he was abusive. Negligent, yes. Unfit to parent, yes. But abusive? That’s something that’s been up for debate for years.”

“What did he do?” Cloud could understand what Sephiroth meant, in a way. Nibelheim hadn’t been the most accepting, but there had been enough people there to make it tolerable. But his mother had always been supportive of him, and loved him dearly. She would never have done anything to hurt him.

“He kicked me out, despite my being sixteen at the time. I had no job, no place to stay, and all the people that I’d known had condemned me to hell. Vincent had moved away, so the only person who might have helped me was gone. So I was stuck in that town, and stuck on the streets. My dad, more than anyone there, liked to remind me of how much of a ‘disgrace’ I was and that I was a ‘faggot doomed to hellfire.’ Though there’s no proof, I have reason to believe he was around all the beatings I received my two years on the streets, as well as the stealing.”

‘Stealing from a homeless person? A homeless kid, no less!’ But Cloud kept quiet; Sephiroth was lost in the memories, even if they weren’t good, and he wouldn’t interrupt him just to make unnecessary comments.

“My dad had never said ‘I love you.’ Not surprising, really, but that lack of hearing it when I was younger made me so susceptible to people who wanted somebody who was easy to manipulate. In fact, I only got out of there because of someone who used me as a bed-warmer for a month or two. That was the only way I could have left, though. No one would hire me, because everyone knew everyone and the consensus was that gays were bad.” Gripping the arm of the chair he sat in, Sephiroth’s jaw clenched and he blinked back the sting of unwanted tears. Without much thought, Cloud slid down to the other end of the couch and rested a hand on Sephiroth’s. Releasing a breath, he went on. “The guy who I’d hooked up with lived in Junon, where no one knew me and I could finally start over. I got a job, rented a small apartment, and was able to live without worrying for a few years. I met a woman, there. She was around what I guess would’ve been my mother’s age. Her name had been Jenova. I learned drag from her, but the scene in Junon was reserved to crowded and dirty bars or clubs where you never knew if you’d make it back home.”

“So you came to Midgar?”

“I left Junon, yes, but not without making a name for myself. Being on the coast, my old name traveled overseas. Eventually it reached two foreigners from Banora, who ran away from home to pursue the same life I had started following.”

“Angeal and Genesis,” Cloud guessed, and Sephiroth nodded.

“We left Junon shortly after that, and Jenova gave me her name to use once I found where I wanted to be. The three of us agreed that Midgar would be our best bet, and so we moved here together. Genesis found LOVELESS during our little road trip, and concocted this ridiculous theory about the identity of the goddess in it.”

“So that’s where you all got your names. Your drag mentor, Genesis’ favourite piece of literature, but what about Angeal?”

“He and Genesis had been together for a while when I met them, and he named him. You know of Minerva, right?” Cloud nodded, eyebrows knit together. His hand still laid on top of Sephiroth’s, despite the lack of tension in his muscles. Neither of them minded. “Genesis thinks the goddess in LOVELESS was based off of her.” Realization came to Cloud quickly, and his jaw dropped.

“Genesis named him after a goddess because that’s what Angeal represents to him,” he whispered, withdrawing his hand and covering his mouth.

“How could he not be?” Getting up from his seat, Sephiroth went into the kitchen and took out a bottle of pinot noir. “You want any?”

Glancing up and catching sight of the wine, Cloud nodded and said, “If you would, please.” Getting up as well, he went to stand on the other side of the island.

Watching him as he pulled out two glasses, Sephiroth asked, “Did you mean it?” It took Cloud a while to figure out what he meant; learning about Sephiroth’s past had made him all but forget that he’d accidentally confessed.

“Would you be mad if I said yes?” he asked after a pause. He watched the wine fill the glasses, and he could feel the weight of eyes on him. Sephiroth slid one glass over to Cloud, wearing an amused smile, and shook his head.

“Not at all. Rather, I’d be flattered. If you were meaning it in the way I imagine you were, that is.” Taking his own glass, he went to stand in front of the window.

“Well, I did. I do,” Cloud said, remaining by the island, as he lifted his glass. “I don’t know how, or why, or when...It just happened. But the weight of something like that was heavy on my shoulders, and...I guess I wasn’t strong enough to keep it secret.” Sephiroth hummed thoughtfully as he took a drink, gazing out at the neon lights of Midgar. Cloud copied him, letting himself enjoy the moment for once. Though hesitant, he joined Sephiroth at the window.

With a hum of acknowledgement, he glanced at him and said, “Well? Wouldn’t you like to know my feelings on the matter? That’s how confessions normally work, from what I understand.” Cloud felt his face heat up, and he stared down at his wine. He nodded, unconsciously swirling the glass. Sephiroth smiled, fingertips brushing against Cloud’s hair as he gazed down at him. “Would you like to hear it, or would you prefer I show you?”

“Whatever feels the most natural to you, I guess.” A finger slid under Cloud’s chin and turned his head; his eyes locked on Sephiroth’s immediately. The pinot noir in his hand was forgotten as his hands stilled. Sephiroth’s face inched closer and closer, bright eyes scanning Cloud’s intently. Their noses bumped, and he paused.

“May I?” he breathed. Sephiroth had stayed away from casual flings after he’d been tossed aside by bored men at such a young age, and hadn’t been truly close and intimate with someone ever in his life. The desire to fill the space between their lips was tantalizing and tempting and torturous, but he wouldn’t act without Cloud’s consent.

Cloud’s answer was pressing his face closer, until their lips just barely touched, and he whispered, “Please do,” as his eyes slid closed. They both steeled themselves as Sephiroth bridged the gap, lips meeting tentatively. Acutely aware of the cold glass of wine in his hand, he broke the kiss off before it could get very far.

“I have been...Cold to you, and strict. And mentoring you has been like teaching a child sometimes. But I’ve seen so much of you outside of Winter, and the same for you with me, that I cannot see you as...My drag daughter,” he said after they had parted. “I’m not sure how things will work between us, but…” He trailed off when Cloud opened his eyes, and he cupped one side of his face. “I’ll do my best to keep this and drag separate...For now.”

 

**SOLDIER doesn’t have any fraternization policies.**

If they did, Genesis and Angeal would never have been hired, after all. But they had come to the club as an long-standing, established couple. No one saw their relationship as fraternization in the first place because no one knew them any differently.

When Cloud came into work with Sephiroth, arm hooked around his waist and leaning into him, it was more than just a bit of a shock.

Sure, most of the queens and all of the Turks had taken bets on when the two would get together -- with Genesis and Angeal having started it all -- but no one had quite expected the two to be so open. It didn’t seem like them at all.

Sephiroth was reserved, keeping his emotions somewhat distant, and, without fail, always professional. Cloud was much the same. But they entered together, holding each other and laughing. When Sephiroth went off to talk to Rufus, they parted with a kiss.

“I believe everyone owes me money,” Reno announced when Cloud took a seat at the bar. Around him, the others groaned. “It isn’t my fault that you all have no faith in the power of being hopelessly in love.”

“Oh, can it Reno,” Zack whined, digging out what he owed from his pocket and throwing it at the Turk’s face. He only laughed and pocketed it, before moving on to make Cloud’s usual cocktail.

“How far’d you two go?” he asked, leaning over the counter and wiggling his eyebrows. Cloud’s face reddened, and he shoved Reno away.

“We kissed a bit and I stayed the night, that’s it.” Reno made a teasing noise, and he scowled. Zack took a seat beside him and clapped him on the back.

“Congrats kiddo!” he exclaimed, the annoyance from a few moments before gone entirely as he beamed at Cloud.

“You know what happens if you hurt him,” Angeal warned from a ways away, not even looking over at them.

“Oh, be nice Angie,” Genesis chided, lightly swatting at his arm. “If he somehow hurts you, make sure to tell us.”

“I know, I know…” Reno slid a glass in front of Cloud as he rested his elbows on the counter.

In a mock whisper, Reno teased, “Look, he’s coming back!” Reaching across the bar to hit him, Cloud glared. Swiping his cocktail and turning around on his stool, he took a sip as Sephiroth approached. His hands rested on Cloud’s thighs, and he smiled down at him.

“Guess what?” Cloud hummed into his drink. “You’re officially confirmed for the new tour. As of right now you’re still second-string, but who knows...Maybe you’ll have moved up by the time it comes around.”

“Well that all depends on you, mister,” Cloud said, setting his cocktail aside and leaning up, bumping noses with Sephiroth. “Isn’t that right?” Humming low in his throat, he dipped his head and pressed their lips together. Behind them, Reno clapped obnoxiously and whistled. When they parted, Cloud mouthed, “I love you,” against his lips.

“Mmm...I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM FUCKIN' LIVING FOR THIS GOOD HEALTHY SEPH/CLOUD RELATIONSHIP BUT WHY'S IT GOTTA BE IN AN AU. WHY CAN'T IT BE IN THE CANON-VERSE.
> 
> On another note, _I'm very fucking gay._


	8. But You Are Not That Kinda Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> old friends and old memories aren't always the nicest things to have

**SOLDIER is a decades old business.**

It had been started quite a few generations back, though it hadn’t served as more than a bar until the current boss’s father took over. He made it into a simple club, like any other in Midgar. There were drinks everywhere, and music and dancing, but no drag performances to be seen.

Then, for Halloween one year, some employees came to work in drag. After getting a little tipsy, they’d started singing and dancing loudly. The next time SOLDIER was open, plenty of customers asked where the drag queens had gone. Seeing an opportunity to make SOLDIER much more memorable, Mr. Shinra put out advertisements for drag queens who needed a steady place of employment. When an overwhelming number of applicants came forward, the club decided to rebrand itself after a bit of nudging from Shinra’s son Rufus. They lost a lot of regulars when it switched.

That is how Sephiroth, Genesis, and Angeal had found SOLDIER after moving to Midgar together. And it was with their growing popularity, and the passing of the reigns to Rufus Shinra, that had brought SOLDIER right back to where it had been.

Some of the original Turks had to quit when the club had started to lose business. They weren’t making nearly as much as they used to in tips, and it got harder and harder for SOLDIER to afford covering it.

After a short time after Zack had started on, the only bartenders left were Tseng, Rude, Reno, and Cissnei. They were the youngest of the Turks, and all of them except Cissnei were still living at home.

When things started looking worse, Cissnei left. The Turks were then down to only three.

No one had seen her since she’d quit -- already three years ago -- so her sudden arrival one night before the bar rush had been unexpected.

Sidling up to the bar when Reno and Elena’s backs were turned, she said, “Can a girl get a mint julep?”

Elena was the first to turn, smiling widely at Cissnei and saying, “Comin’ right up!” As she started to mix the cocktail, Reno turned and gasped.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, planting his hands on the bar counter and leaning forward. “Cissnei? What’re you doin’ back here?”

“Been hearing a lot of good things about this old place for about a year or two now, and I thought it was time to come back and see how it’s doing myself.” Smiling sweetly at Elena as she handed her the drink, Cissnei caught the pale blush on her face.

“Zack’s gonna lose his mind when he sees you here,” Reno commented, crossing his arms as Cissnei rolled her eyes.

“Are you a...A friend of Zack’s?” The slight undertone of disappointment in Elena’s voice was hard to miss.

“You could say that,” Cissnei mused, taking a drink and sighing. “Nice balance to the julep.” Elena’s face grew redder. “I worked here around three years ago; had to quit when business started failing and I couldn’t live on my own anymore.”

“Cissnei here was Zack’s best friend his first couple months; probably his biggest source of encouragement too. That reminds me...He’s on first-string now.”

“So I heard. I’m proud of him.” Chewing on a mint leaf, Cissnei turned her head to look out at the rest of the club. Genesis and Angeal were bickering on stage, out of drag, much to the amusement of some of the patrons. It was fairly obvious that it was all an act. Sephiroth and Cloud were nowhere to be seen, getting ready for their shows later that night.

And then there was Zack, seated in a corner with Aerith, smiling contentedly.

“He looks happier than he was when I was here,” she mumbled, swallowing the remnants of the leaf and taking another drink. “Much more sure of himself.”

“He is.” Cupping his hands around his mouth, Reno called, “Hey Zack! Wanna see an old friend?”

Looking up with a slight glare, Zack frowned before smiling. Nudging her, he got Aerith to get up and he dragged her over.

“Cissnei!” he exclaimed, throwing his arms out for a hug. Setting her glass down, she got to her feet and returned it. “How are things?”

“I don’t work in bartending anymore; it worked fine when I only had to provide for myself, but my mom’s not doing well right now.” Pulling out of the hug, Zack’s face fell. Punching his arm lightly, she added, “But the doctors all agree she should be able to recover just fine.” Immediately his expression brightened back up. “Who’s your friend?”

Gesturing to Aerith, Zack asked, “Her?” Cissnei nodded. “She’s my girlfriend!” he beamed, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Aerith, meet Cissnei. Cissnei, Aerith.” They exchanged polite pleasantries, watching each other warily.

“Things with Kunsel didn’t work out?” Cissnei asked idly, swirling her mint julep and watching the ice as she sat back down. Zack’s expression faltered for a moment.

“No, uhm...He broke up with me when he found out I did drag.”

In hopes of lifting his spirits, Aerith kissed Zack’s cheek and murmured, “Well, he’s missing out.”

“Angeal and Genesis don’t seem to have changed any.” With her glass, Cissnei motioned towards the bickering couple onstage.

“They really haven’t,” Reno said, leaning on the bar counter.

“What about everyone’s favourite grump? How’s he doin’ these days?”

“He’s got himself a boyfriend, for starters.” Cissnei’s eyes widened a fraction, looking over the edge of her glass. “He took the kid on as a drag daughter -- well, Rufus kinda forced him, really -- and though the two butted heads awfully in the beginning, somehow they ended up becoming sappy and lovey.”

“It’s nice to see Sephiroth happy,” Elena commented, quietly cleaning glasses as the others chatted. Zack and Aerith nodded along, and Reno smiled.

“It sure is.”

 

**Cissnei is a brutally honest drunk.**

While she typically doesn’t drink until intoxicated, being around her old friends and the lively atmosphere of SOLDIER spurred her on until Elena eventually refused to serve her anymore drinks.

In reality, she could have drank more than a few more and still been fine, but Cissnei did have to get home, and Elena didn’t want to be responsible for any accidents.

Since she’d started getting tipsy, Cissnei had started to say a bit more than she meant to. She continuously complimented Elena’s appearance, and made various comments about the performances going on without much filter. She wasn’t trying to be rude -- she really wasn’t even being all that rude at all -- but she was being very honest.

A trait that Sephiroth often times shared with her.

A trait that used to cause the two quite a bit of trouble when they had to work together.

When Sephiroth had gotten on stage, Cissnei had become visibly interested in the show. She’d paid close attention to Zack’s colourful performance, but that focus couldn’t beat the way she watched Sephiroth after he’d stepped up.

Truth be told, she’d always thought his ‘fetish’ aesthetic limited what he could do, performance wise, and believed that he should branch out more.

“There’s only so much that leather, lace, garters, and corsets can do for you. Either learn some new tricks, or find a new look,” as she’d told him time and time again. (He didn’t quite like that suggestion of hers.)

Watching him lip sync a song she’d seen before, in a costume that looked familiar, and using choreography that only appeared new because of Cloud’s presence -- or so she said, whether that’s true or not -- got under her skin.

“Why do people love him so much? He does the same few things over and over, just slightly repackaged,” she yelled over the music to Reno, who paid little mind to her comments. He didn’t want to get dragged into any of the drama that was sure to come. “Do they all just want to get in his pants or something?” Seeing his cue, Reno shrugged. “It took years for Zack to get up to first-string, and he’s highly imaginative and rarely ever does the same thing twice! What the fuck, am I right?”

“I don’t know, Cissnei, I just make the drinks.” She hugged rather loudly at that and turned away from him, clearly upset with him. She kept quiet the rest of the song, but the second Sephiroth stepped off stage and walked to the bar, she was up and in front of him.

“That looked awfully familiar, Mother,” she said, only slightly swaying on her feet. “Almost like I’ve seen that show before. Oh wait.”

Frowning down at her, Sephiroth said, “Cissnei. How nice to see my biggest critic.” Patting her head, he hooked an arm around Cloud’s waist and gestured to him. “Meet Winter Hart, my drag daughter. And meet Cloud Strife, my boyfriend.”

“Oh, I’ve heard all about that, so don’t try to change the subject! You’re a one-trick pony Seph! You haven’t changed at all in the three years I’ve been gone!”

His frown becoming a scowl, Sephiroth asked, “And you say that after seeing one of the thousands of performances I’ve done since then?” Cloud tugged at him, urging him over to the bar, and he followed. “That’s a bold claim.” Cissnei followed after them, climbing back into her seat as the two leaned on the counter.

“You could at least learn aerial performing, or use a different kind of music, or--”

“Cissnei! It’s none of your business!” From behind the bar, Elena slammed down a washcloth and looked up from what she was doing. “You aren’t the one who has to perform every night for a crowd that expects the best of you! You aren’t a performer! And even if you were, you have no right to criticize Sephiroth for the way he performs!”

Reno, who stood behind her, whistled and patted her shoulder, saying, “Elena, finally standin’ her ground. I’m so proud.”

Cissnei looked at her wide-eyed, before standing up.

“I’m sorry, I...I’ve had too much to drink and...I should get home.” Cissnei started walking to the exit, but Elena set the washcloth to the side and stepped out from behind the bar.

“You shouldn’t be driving home like this; I’ll take you home.” Reno waved the two off and started where Elena had left off, whistling again after the door had closed.

“I’ve never seen her snap, at least, not like that.” Tossing the rag into the sink, he popped his neck. “So, anything I can get you two?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank god for Shangela's iconic sugar daddy rant for giving me a title. (also apologies for the wait)
> 
> Had I not needed to end the chapter, Elena wouldn't have interrupted, and Cissnei would probably have been Mimi Imfurst and Sephiroth would have gone full-on Shangela.
> 
> Also Elena and Cissnei are 100% girlfriends. (There's a lot of relationships that are gonna show up in this, and I think most of y'all will like them.)


	9. It's Very That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes you just really need time to yourself

**Various kinds of people work at SOLDIER.**

There’s the obvious ones: the queens, the bartenders, the manager, and the boss. But then there’s the less obvious ones.

Namely, the announcer for all the performances, Yuffie Kisaragi. Though significantly younger than the rest of the employees at SOLDIER -- at only nineteen-years-old -- she’s able to keep up with her coworkers fairly easy.

While Yuffie’s main job is announcing, and occasionally recording commercials for the radio, she’s also entrusted with finding out all the newest information in the world of drag. She’s got connections to every city one could imagine, North to South and East to West. Not once has she failed or been wrong.

So when she came bursting into the building hours before she had to be at work, slightly out of breath and frantically searching for Rufus, the others knew that she’d found something either incredible or devastating.

Zack and Cloud, seated at the bar and talking about nothing in particular, were the first to notice her. As Zack ran off to get Vincent, Tseng quietly slid a glass of water down the bar to Cloud. Taking it with a nod, he went over to Yuffie and held it out.

“Why in such a rush?” he asked, leading her towards the stools. She was a little shaky, hand jittery as she lifted the glass to her lips. Rather than sitting on a stool, she leaned against the bar counter. The water was gone in seconds.

“Baby queens...Nibelheim...Trio...There’s a lot-- A lot that I’ve found out,” she said in between breaths. Across the room, Vincent followed Zack out of his office. He was, begrudgingly, on the phone.

When they’d reached Yuffie, Zack whispered, “He’s trying to get Rufus to come down and hear the news himself.” Cloud’s mouth dropped open, and he nodded. Vincent seemed rather calm in his voice, but the deep fold between his eyebrows said otherwise. When his voice began to rise in volume, he excused himself and went outside.

Making sure he was gone, Zack turned to Yuffie with a smile and said, “Spill it.” Behind the bar, stacking glasses, Tseng cleared his throat.

“Is that not against policy?” he asked calmly, not even bothering to look up. Zack sighed in frustration.

“Who cares?” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. When he looked to Yuffie again, she shook her head. “Why not?”

“We’d both get in trouble Zack.”

“And then you’d get in trouble two-fold because we’d have lost a first-string performer.” From near the doorway came Sephiroth’s voice; he was in the coat closet, hanging up his jacket and scarf. After he stepped out, he smiled at Yuffie warmly. “And no one wants either of you to get fired.”

Though he didn’t want to draw attention to himself, Cloud couldn’t help the slight upward curl of his lip at the sight of Sephiroth. Without even meaning to, he walked over and pulled him into a hug.

“So the little one is here,” he commented, arm looping around Cloud’s shoulder and squeezing him back. “What interesting new thing have you found out this time?”

Spinning in her seat, Yuffie grinned and said, “Oh it’s good. But you’ll have to wait and see to find out.”

 

**Rufus Shinra is difficult to shock.**

And yet, when Yuffie told him what she’d heard, he was at a loss for words.

“A drag trio in Nibelheim? Since when?” Cloud was the most incredulous; he’d lived in Nibelheim his entire life. How could there be others doing drag without him knowing? “What are they calling themselves?”

“The Remnants. As I’ve heard, they aren’t originally from there. They rolled in one night after you left, and because there was a hole in everyone’s heart because you were gone, they easily found a crowd.” She was watching Rufus rather carefully, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Sighing, she asked, “Do you want to know their names?”

Turning away, Rufus shook his head and said, “No, no, I...I’ve got to go think this over.” When he suddenly began to walk away, Vincent scrambled to follow. The two disappeared into Rufus’s office, voices cut off the second the door was shut.

“I wanna know!” Zack exclaimed, leaning in with a grin on his face.

“No can do. You can’t know before the boss knows.” Grumbling to himself, Zack sat back down and huffed. “But you’ll know soon enough.”

 

**SOLDIER goes through maintenance four times a year.**

The week that it’s closed is a free week for all of the employees. Cloud took it as a week to finally get to spend some time with his best friend.

He hadn’t seen Tifa properly since he’d moved to Midgar, so sitting in the living room of her apartment with her was a blessing. They sipped at mixed drinks lightly, but there was little alcohol in either of them.

“So…” This was the fifth time in an hour that Cloud had tried to talk to her. “What’s been going on at work?”

“It’s been great. Barret’s nice, and most of the customers aren’t assholes. No one harasses me or the others. Seventh Heaven is great.”

“That’s good to hear.” As Cloud knocked back a rather large gulp of his drink, Tifa tilted her head.

“And what about you?” she asked, watching him curiously. “I thought you hated Sephiroth, but now you’re dating him? What’s the story there?”

“It’s...Complicated. Let’s just say that he was hard on me in the beginning because he wanted to see me get better, and it just took some time for me to realize that his intentions weren’t to ruin me.” Setting his glass on the coffee table, Cloud met her eyes. “And then I started seeing how much he cared. And then...The rest you already know.”

She smiled knowingly, humming into her glass as she sipped from it. “Y’know,” she began as she rested the glass on her knee. “I’ve met someone at Seventh Heaven.” One of Cloud’s eyebrows arched, and she nodded with a smile. “His name is Lazard. He’s starting to become a regular -- at least on my nights -- and he always sits in my section.”

“Is he one of the customers that’s not an asshole?” Tifa nodded with a smile she was clearly trying to subdue. Rolling his wrist, Cloud smiled and said, “Then do go on.”

“He’s really smart; I think he might be a scientist,” she began, setting her glass down and lacing her fingers together. “He wears glasses, so he even looks the part. Though this isn’t confirmed, I think he comes from money. He wears snazzy clothes all the time and orders expensive drinks constantly.”

“But does he leave good tips is the real question.”

“Better than any of the other customers normally.” Cloud nodded approvingly as he drained his glass. “Barret thinks he has a thing for me.”

“He clearly likes you. The way he likes you is debatable, but he most definitely does like you.” Tifa’s face flushed a bit, and she covered her cheeks. “Then again, you never picked up on my obvious crush on you, so maybe you’re just inept with social cues.”

“You had a what?!” Raking her fingers through her hair and pushing it from her eyes, Tifa’s head shot up. A shocked grin was plastered on her face. “Oh my god! I’d had a crush on you! But I ignored it because we were--”

“Too much like family!” Cloud finished, throwing his head back and laughing. “Oh my god. We’re both inept with social cues.” Wiping away stray tears as his laughter died down, Cloud looked over at her. “I’m happy for you. And I wish you the best with Lazard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT I AM SO BAD AT UPDATING LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.
> 
> (Also low-key this chapter's title was hard AF to pinpoint. I wanted to go with simply "Party" but I think it'll be better used later on.)
> 
> Anyway, this might feel like a filler chapter, but I promise it isn't! The drag trio and Tifa's relationship with Lazard will be important!!!
> 
> Thank you so much to the people who've waited patiently for this! I'm so sorry that I took so long.


	10. This Is Just Too Fucking Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are never out of reach unless you stop striving for them.

**Cloud used to be a solo performer.**

Being the only drag queen in Nibelheim, he was forced to put on a show without anyone else’s help. When he’d started at SOLDIER, however, that had all changed. Even if he had been subjected to go-go hell, he would never have been alone. As it was set up, he was essentially back-up for Sephiroth, and occasionally for the others when they needed someone.

So when Sephiroth and Rufus -- Rufus, the boss man himself, not Vincent -- approached him, he wasn’t expecting anything along the lines of getting his own set for one of the larger nights of the week.

“I’m not sure how much you’ve heard yourself, Cloud,” Rufus started when he’d gotten him to stop spouting anxiety-ridden babble. “But quite a bit of the regular clientele that comes to SOLDIER has taken an interest in you, especially those who are fans of Sephiroth and Genesis. They’ve actually been making phone calls demanding you get your own spotlight for once.” Cloud, gaping in disbelief, looked to Sephiroth to see if it was a joke.

“What?” Sephiroth asked after a moment. “Do you think he’s messing with you?” Cloud nodded, managing to close his mouth at the same time. “This is Rufus Shinra we’re talking about: he doesn’t make jokes when it comes to business.”

Rufus nodded a bit in agreement, coming his mouth to hide his smile as he added, “It just so happens that there’s an set we’d failed to schedule for this Saturday. We need to fill the time slot by tonight. If you don’t want it, I’m sure Zack would be fine with putting on another improv show where he tells terrible jokes, but it would be better if we had a queen perfor--”

“I’ll do it!” Cloud exclaimed, cutting Rufus off. When he realized what he’d done, he paled and covered his mouth. “I’m so sorry,” he said, words muffled by the fingers pressing into his lips. Rufus, who’d been mildly taken aback, blinked a bit but still shook his head.

“No, it’s...I was doing that so you would respond excitedly. You just responded more than I expected you to.” Taking in an even breath, Rufus put his hands in his pockets and smiled lightly. “I’ll leave everything up to you, and any resources you need for the performance are open for your use. I do want to see you succeed.”

Cloud was so overcome he felt himself taking a slight step forward to hug him in thanks, but realized just as his arms twitched into motion that it would be inappropriate.

Holding out a hand, he said, “Thank you very much, Mr. Shinra. I appreciate everything you’ve done for my career since I’ve come here.” Rufus took his hand and shook it, his smile growing minutely.

“Anyone as determined as you were is bound to be better than their first impression ever implied.” With a nod of his head, Rufus turned to return to his office. Reno got his attention last minute, however, and so he went over to the bar to talk to him.

Sephiroth let Cloud absorb the information a bit more before he spoke up: “So...What are you thinking? If anything, that is.”

“I…” Cloud trailed off, feeling for a chair so he could sit. Since he’d started at SOLDIER, he’d painstakingly planned out just what he would do as first-string queen. Now that the opportunity to be on his own was a reality, however, he found himself unable to think of anything other than, ‘Oh my god. It’s happening.’

Sephiroth took a seat beside him, giving him time to process everything still, but he still asked quietly, “Is this...Hurting you somehow?” Cloud shook his head distractedly, looking down at his relaxed hands and noting the way his fingers twitched.

“When I’d first come here, I’d been really...Cocky. Back in Nibelheim, I was the only queen, and they treated me like I was some kind of goddess. Kinda like how I’d regarded you all, whenever I would hear about SOLDIER...But then I came here and-- You know what happened.” Clenching his hands into fists, Cloud smiled and looked at Sephiroth through his peripheral. “I’d practically forgotten that I could be on my own.”

Sephiroth smiled and covered one of Cloud’s fists with his own hand, saying, “You’ve grown. You learned humility. You learned to open up. And you diversified your aesthetic.” They laughed together a moment, but Sephiroth stopped himself short and watched Cloud for a few moments. “You deserve this chance.”

“I only went through that growth because of you, y’know.” Though he rolled his eyes, Sephiroth couldn’t keep his embarrassed smile off his face. Leaning forward, Cloud kissed him lightly. “So thank you.”

 

**Cloud is known as Winter Hart.**

She’s a cold beauty: strong-willed and icy and in control of her own sexuality. She’s supposed to be the definition of an ice queen.

Up until the solo set, Cloud had never been able to really drive that home. With full creative control of his performance, however, he made sure that no one could miss it.

His usual gold blonde wig was traded for a silver blonde one for the night, this one long and straight down his back. His eyes were more heavily lined than ever, with glittery lashes and glitter under his eyes. There was enough white and silver highlight on him for five people. But it was his lips that we the most different: blocked out with foundation, made to look chapped, but still undoubtedly pouty. Sephiroth found himself rather attracted to this version of Winter, something he wouldn’t usually say.

Taking a page from Mother Jenova’s aesthetic book, Cloud had gotten himself lingerie upon lingerie, robe upon robe, tights and stockings and garters, bondage straps and jewelry, platform heels and stiletto boots, simply so he would have options. (He felt incredibly guilty, however, because half of it was purchased by Rufus, out of pocket, and a fourth was paid for by Sephiroth. “It’s a business investment,” Rufus said. “And I want to see you in this,” added Sephiroth.) Now dressed in a pale blue set of lingerie that was practically just semi-see-through lace -- thank god for tucking panties -- and a sheer, white robe lined with faux fur, Cloud sat in front of the mirror and thought. He couldn’t pick between two garter belt/garter sets: one that was metallic silver, and one that was white and encrusted in jewels. Groaning, he leaned back and closed his eyes.

When he heard the door open quietly, he assumed it was Sephiroth or Zack. But then the person spoke.

“What’s wrong?” It was Tifa.

Sitting up, Cloud opened his eyes and blinked. After registering who it was, he gestured to the sets and grumbled something.

“Can’t decide?” He nodded, and she came over to kneel beside him. “The white one would look better, I think, since you’re wearing silver fishnets and jewelry already.” Turning to him, she smiled. “But that’s just my thoughts.”

“No,” he said. “You’re right. Thank you.” As he got to his feet, Tifa grabbed the set and held it to him. She didn’t know whether to turn away or not when he began to put them on, so she looked to the ground. “Tifa, you can look at me. It’s not like I’m naked.” Suddenly, she laughed at herself.

“I used to help you tuck, remember that?” she asked, looking up at him. “And yet I feel awkward watching you put on a garter belt.” Cloud smiled, though he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate. “When will you be on?”

“Pretty much the moment I’m done.”

Nodding, Tifa smiled and said, “Lazard is here, tonight. I thought you might like to meet him.” Cloud nodded, smile growing as he finally turned to his boots. “As I learned, however, he used to be a drag queen himself. And he’s related to your boss.”

“Oh?”

“I also think that the redheaded Turk is trying to get your boss in bed with him.” Cloud suddenly laughed, head tilting back.

“Reno is so obvious when he flirts with Rufus, it’s almost uncomfortable.”

“That’s not all.” The look Cloud sends her nearly has her laughing as well. “All the flirting? Hundred percent reciprocated.”

“Isn’t there something about sleeping with your boss? It being bad?”

Raising an eyebrow, Tifa simply asks, “Can you really talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost: everyone surprised that Rupaul's transphobic? _We've been tellin' y'all for years, you just didn't listen._
> 
> And now back to the fic. I binge wrote this chapter in 24 hours because I realized I hadn't updated since November, I'm sorry about that!!! Speech season kinda took over my life until like two weeks ago. (bless laganja estranja and her emotional outburst for the chap title, btw)
> 
> Anyway, I hope the wait was worth it!!!


	11. The Ooh-Ah-Ah Sensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While we should never forget our roots, we must seek to find and define ourselves and the future.

**Cloud performs to a variety of music.**

Rather than sticking to one genre like some queens, he chooses the songs based on the tone of the overall performance. While there have been some people who don’t like the way he does it, most patrons prefer it that way. They’re always getting something new.

For his first solo performance in Midgar, he chose something that was heavily gothic: something that reminded him of Sephiroth. Rather than going for the slow droning sounds Mother Jenova was so fond of, however, he chose a sensual synthpop track that was just as quick as it was arousing.

Much like her drag mother, Winter Hart was not alone onstage. The “ice queen seductress” bit couldn’t translate without someone to seduce, after all. Enlisting the help of Sephiroth was the easiest part of the planning process.

Cloud would be lying if he said that he didn’t like the way Sephiroth was half-way into drag for the performance. If he didn’t already have basic choreography laid out for the show, he would’ve been perfectly fine improvising: he had every desire to seduce Sephiroth without the song playing behind them.

It was in Winter Hart’s means of seduction that she differed from Mother Jenova: where Mother was teasing and withheld stimulation, Winter was forward and direct. Mother always had Cloud stand still and lean into the sensations: Winter invited motion and reciprocation. The chemistry that Sephiroth and Cloud had outside of drag was much more helpful in this performance than any other they had done together.

After a messy back-and-forth dance, near-makeout session, and some not-faked grinding, Winter pushed Sephiroth into a chair with the back facing the audience. Eyes trained on his, she mouthed the words to him directly as she straddled his lap. As the words faded out, she glanced out at the audience with a smirk before leaning in and pressing a desperate kiss to his mouth. The music continued on for only a few seconds: when it went silent, Winter pulled away from Sephiroth and licked her lips.

Tifa was the first to let out a cheer, hands cupped around her mouth as she let out a yell that she knew would leave her vocal chords aching the next morning. Breaking out of their stunned silence, the Turks and queens joined in. Rufus stood in the midst of them all, smiling almost smugly as he clapped.

He knew he’d made the right choice in letting Cloud stay.

 

**Tucks can sometimes be uncomfortable.**

Because of this, many queens who have to tuck take great pleasure in getting out of drag. The queens of SOLDIER are no exception to this.

Cloud, however, is an outlier. Normally he can get away with a tuck that does the job without being too tight: that’s the beauty of wearing clothes that cover your tuck in drag. However, when you wear lingerie and you’re endowed, tucking is often a requirement. (Only a specific subset of drag queens would perform in lingerie without a tuck: a subset that isn’t represented at SOLDIER currently.)

Not quite used to the feeling of such a tight tuck, Cloud felt a near moan slip out as he began the process of untucking. Even though he was entirely alone, he could feel his cheeks heating up. It was a sound that he not only hadn’t been expecting: he hadn’t heard it in quite some time.

Just as he started to get dressed in half-drag for the rest of the night, someone knocked on the door.

“It’s open!” he called, eying the way panties looked without a tuck. Under his breath, Cloud muttered, “I don’t know if I like the way this looks…”

Stepping into the room, Sephiroth brushed hair behind his ear and asked, “Don’t like the look of what?” Closing the door behind him, he stepped up behind Cloud and followed his eyes in the mirror. “Oh.” Shrugging with a smile, he said, “I think it’ll be fine. Who knows, you might start something new here at SOLDIER.”

Rolling his eyes, Cloud gently elbowed him and said, “Zack might be ushering in some less-than-traditional drag looks, but I think most patrons are still a fan of faux-vaginas and breast contour.”

Frowning, Sephiroth rested his chin on Cloud’s shoulder and asked, “What about me and you then? We both tuck normally, sure, but I never do breast contour or breastplates. You only do them for special looks.”

Turning around and wrapping his arms around Sephiroth’s waist, Cloud spoke into his shoulder: “You’ve got me there, I guess.” Sephiroth’s arms wrapped around him in return, and Cloud felt slow breathing against the side of his neck. “I should probably finish up and get out there, huh?”

“Might be helpful.” Scoffing, Cloud untangled himself from Sephiroth and went to the vanity. Wiping off the foundation on his lips, he grabbed a tube of red lipstick and inspected it. Sephiroth played with his hair behind him and commented, “That would look good with all the light colours you have going on.” Smiling at him through the mirror, Cloud painted his lips red. Sephiroth watched for only a moment before gathering Cloud’s hair into a high ponytail. “Do you have any elastics?”

“I think there’s a package in one of the drawers.” Once satisfied with his lipstick, Cloud tossed the tube into his bag and began to rifle through drawers. There was, indeed, an unopened package of hair elastics: opening it was bothersome, but he handed one back to Sephiroth anyway. “I think I have a ribbon, too.”

“Not necessary,” Sephiroth said with a smile. Reaching for the choker he was wearing, he untied it to reveal it was just a ribbon of velvet. After tying it around the ponytail in a messy bow, Sephiroth stepped back and smiled. “Different as it is, I like this.”

 

**The regulars of SOLDIER also loved Winter’s new look.**

Each of them had something to say to Cloud, whether it was how much they loved the performance or how much they wanted Winter on tour, and it filled a void that had opened in his heart since he’d left Nibelheim.

He could feel the love and support again.

 

**Tifa’s always been Cloud’s biggest fan.**

Just as Cloud has supported her no matter what, she’s ready to stand by him no matter what as well.

Her belief in him was what kept him going back when he first started doing drag, and now her belief has opened so many doors. He works with some of the most famous drag queens of all time, after all.

Her belief also led him to meeting a queen he could only vaguely recall: Liz Primus. Liz had been a SOLDIER queen when Cloud first started to get into drag, but she disappeared shortly after.

He finally found out what caused her permanent hiatus.

Liz Primus -- now known only as Lazard Deusericus -- was Tifa’s plus-one for the evening.

To Cloud’s own shock, Tifa’s rich-customer-who-likes-me Lazard was a former SOLDIER queen and a new fan of Winter Hart.

Sitting at the bar with a drink that was so neon it almost looked toxic was a rather expensive looking man who chatted comfortably with Tifa. At first, the sight made Cloud’s skin crawl. When he remembered his conversation with her, however, he placed name to face. Approaching with a smile, he was prepared to introduce himself to a man who used to work in his profession.

“Oh, Cloud!” Tifa called when she noticed him: Lazard turned to see who she’d spotted. “You were great!” The moment Cloud was close enough, Tifa had him in an embrace. “You’ve grown so much!”

“So you’re the man behind Winter Hart?” Lazard asked, tipping his drink in his direction. “I would never have expected a performance like that to take place within these walls.”

As Tifa let go, Cloud couldn’t contain his questions: “What do you mean?”

“When my father was in charge, this place was quite cut-and-dry. Pageants were held here on occasion, actually! Though I should’ve guessed things would have changed, with Rufus in charge and all.” Setting his glass down, Lazard extended a hand and said, “My name is Lazard Deusericus, the friend of your friend. Depending on how much of SOLDIER’s history you know, you may have known me as Liz back in the day.”

As Cloud shook his hand, he asked, “Liz as in Liz Primus?”

“The one and only.”

Starstruck like he was on his first day at SOLDIER, Cloud blinked rapidly until everything processed.

“You...You were such an iconic SOLDIER queen, why did they ever let you go? Did you need a break from drag or--” The look on Lazard’s face silenced him.

“Let’s just say that old man Shinra was fine with running a business based off of queer culture but wasn’t quite comfortable with a queer half-son.”

Sephiroth, who’d only just rejoined Cloud at the bar, had to suppress a laugh as he said, “He’s not gonna be happy when he hears about Rufus, then.”

Lazard chuckled to himself before saying, “Oh, he’s known about Rufus for years: SOLDIER became a drag club because of him, after all. It was the ‘both sons are queer’ thing that got to him.” Taking a drink from his glass, Lazard added, “It’s good to see that you’re still here, Mother.”

Sephiroth shrugged. When Cloud leaned into him, he felt himself smiling and muttered, “I keep finding reasons to stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, credits to the icon Monique Heart for the most fitting title of all time.
> 
> Second, a question: How many of y'all loved Season 10 of Drag Race? I think it's fair to say that it's a very iconic season, from Miss Vanjie to the number of views it received to how influential it's been. Season 10 has started a lot of conversations and has helped bring queerness into the public eye even more. Personally, I was an Aquaria stan from the beginning and her win made me cry from joy.
> 
> _Also,_ I think this chapter is probably my favourite from the entire fic so far. I'm really proud of how it has come out, and I think it's one of the most essential in terms of character development. Thoughts?


	12. I'm Not Gonna Panic Because I Don't Do That Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning: Weiss makes another appearance and says some potentially triggering things.**
> 
>  
> 
> Fear is natural, but don't let it consume you.

**Rufus is a generous boss.**

People don’t always realize it, but he actually enjoys spoiling his employees when they deserve rewards.

Because of the success of Cloud’s first main stage, solo performance, Rufus told everyone to head over to Seventh Heaven for drinks and that he would cover the bills. The invitation extended to the Turks and Vincent, meaning SOLDIER had to close for the night earlier than usual.

The regulars seemed to be a little disappointed that they’d only gotten two full performances -- Winter Hart and a duet between Luv and Minerva -- but they nobody get violent and most of them congratulated Cloud a second time on the way out.

Once SOLDIER’s doors were locked up tight, Cloud led Sephiroth over to where he’d parked Fenris. Though they’d been together for over a month, Sephiroth had yet to take a ride on Cloud’s prized motorbike.

“You’re sure you wanna ride with me?” Cloud asked as he pulled his goggles down over his eyes. “Don’t feel like you have to, I’ll understand if Fenris makes you uncomfortable. Motorbikes aren’t for everybody, y--”

Pressing a finger to his lips, Sephiroth smiled and pulled the extra set of goggles over his eyes, saying, “I want to go with you.”

Kissing the tip of his finger, Cloud couldn’t keep a smile off his face as he got on the bike. “You might want to tie your hair back to keep it from whipping around or getting caught.” When he felt the slight dip from Sephiroth’s weight, Cloud glanced over his shoulder and added, “Can’t have you getting hurt on my bike, y’know?”

Rolling his eyes, Sephiroth gathered his hair together and wrapped an elastic around it halfway down. The ponytail rested against his chest loosely so when he leaned into Cloud, it would be pressed between them. “Well, I’m ready.”

Nodding, Cloud stood Fenris up straight, knocked the kickstand back, and started the engine. “Hold on tight.”

 

**Seventh Heaven isn’t far from SOLDIER.**

Cloud was aware of this fact, but Sephiroth was not. So when Cloud had told him to hold on tight? There’d been no practical need to: he just wanted to feel his arms around him.

As Cloud shut the engine off and knocked the kickstand down, he turned halfway to look at Sephiroth and asked, “You wanna know something?”

Brushing the wild, loose strands from his face, Sephiroth nodded. “As long as it’s interesting.”

“I realized I was in love with you on this bike.”

Not expecting such a blunt revelation, Sephiroth couldn’t keep the surprise from his face, and he felt his jaw going slack unwillingly. “You-- What?”

“It was shortly after the night I’d come over to your house for the first time,” Cloud continued, shucking his goggles off quickly and tossing them into the right-side storage compartment. “The night you’d told me that I could premier as first-string on the tour. That night spurred an awakening in me, and I was finally able to process my feelings for you past the respect and gratitude.”

Sephiroth stood silently beside the bike, the hand that had been removing his hair elastic still and his jaw still slack.

Brushing hair from his eyes, Cloud looked up at him and said, “And when I got home, I was panicking and called Tifa. But I still hadn’t told myself what I’d figured out.” Slipping his fingers beneath the goggles Sephiroth still wore, he slid them up and off as he said, “And I told myself that I was in love with you in front of my mirror.”

Sephiroth practically melted just then, biting his lip as a smile spread across his face and his eyes prickled with tears. Ignoring how messy his hair had gotten, Sephiroth grabbed hold of the hands at the side of his face and leaned into Cloud to kiss him.

Just before their lips were about to meet, Elena and Cissnei rounded a corner together and the latter made a comment along the lines of, “You couldn’t even wait to get into the bar?”

Elena fretted at her side, brows pinching together as she hurriedly apologized for the comment, and Cissnei argued that there was no need to apologize at all. The two disappeared into Seventh Heaven together, leaving Cloud and Sephiroth alone yet again.

“We should...Probably go in,” Cloud said, turning his head and dropping his hands.

 

**Yuffie Kisaragi is most definitely not old enough to drink.**

That, however, has never once stopped her from joining the team from SOLDIER when they went out for drinks.

This time, however, she had a reason to be present other than simply wanting to be a part of the group. She’d found out more about the Remnants, and a reluctant Rufus was finally letting her spill all that she knew to the others.

Seated at the bar with a tumbler of ice water, Yuffie basked in all the attention that was directed at her. She’d already answered plenty of questions -- “What do they wear?” and “Where are they from?” and “How are they doing?” -- and was growing a bit bored of playing the role of a Remnants FAQ. Until Cloud finally spoke up.

Easily the most interested in the Remnants -- after all, they were living and performing in his hometown -- he asked, “What are their names?”

Pouting, Yuffie tilted her head to the side and asked, “What do you mean, ‘What are their names?’ I told you: Misfortuna, Lady Night, and Zee.”

Shaking his head, Cloud leaned back into Sephiroth, who was seated behind him, and said, “I didn’t mean drag names. I meant their actual names.”

“Oh.” Yuffie had never thought to look into their everyday names: she didn’t even know what they looked like, really, just what their individual aesthetics were. “I don’t know.”

The slight tensing of Cloud’s muscles was the only sign of his disappointment, and Sephiroth was the only one who was aware of it. “Damn. I might’ve known them, but I guess I won’t know for sure for a while.”

“Not necessarily,” Yuffie began, trying to lighten the mood again. “There’s something that I haven’t told you guys yet.”

Cloud sat up just a bit straighter, though he kept his back pressed to Sephiroth’s chest.

Zack leaned over the top of the table he was seated at with Genesis and Angeal.

Rufus, who’d been subtly teasing Reno for all of his flirting, turned to face her with an eyebrow raised.

“Apparently Misfortuna, the de facto leader, has been saying they’re gonna be on the SOLDIER tour that’s coming up.”

Vincent, who’d been listening strictly for professional reasons, asked, “‘On’ the tour? Don’t you mean ‘at’?”

Shaking her head, Yuffie picked up her glass and clinked the ice cubes around as she said, “Nope. From what it sounds like, they’re trying to find a way to get onto the guest performance list for Cosmo Canyon.”

 

**Cloud isn’t much of a drinker.**

The same goes for Sephiroth, though they have been drinking wine together quite often since they got together.

Despite this, they both hung around Seventh Heaven longer than almost everyone else.

Tifa and Lazard had left and split ways first. Rufus and Reno followed, leaving together. Vincent, who’d been drinking with Rude, left his number on a napkin and disappeared without anyone noticing. When Elena and Cissnei were ready to leave, Rude drove them both home and then went to his own home. Zack eventually had to go meet Aerith, and Tseng also had a prior obligation to his girlfriend. Genesis and Angeal eventually grew bored and retired to home as well.

By midnight, it was only Yuffie, Cloud, and Sephiroth that were left of SOLDIER’s employees.

With a few glasses of wine knocked back, Cloud’s head was buzzing a bit when he randomly blurted, “I didn’t know that there were guest performers on SOLDIER tours.”

Rolling her eyes, Yuffie laughed at his stumbling speech and said, “It’s something that Rufus wants to try out this time. After you came to SOLDIER, he realized that there might be other queens -- newbie babies or vetted -- who could use more attention and support.”

Cloud flushed and reached for his glass to cover up his embarrassment, but Sephiroth moved it from his reach. When Cloud began to protest, Sephiroth only held it farther from him.

“Can’t have you hungover,” he chided, pressing a kiss to the wrinkle between Cloud’s eyebrows and setting the glass on the counter. “And we should probably get you home soon, anyway.”

“I’m fine, Seph, just a little buzzed.”

Sephiroth ignored him and got him stood up, curling an arm around his side and saying, “You know that I have to drive home because of that, yes?”

“Fenris is easy to learn.”

Chuckling under his breath, Sephiroth led Cloud to the doors and called over his shoulder, “You should go home soon too, Yuffie!”

“Fuck off, old man!”

Barret, working the bar himself since Seventh Heaven was unusually dead, erupted into laughter as he took the wine glass left behind to the sinks.

Cloud giggled a bit, too, closing his eyes and resting his head on Sephiroth’s shoulder as they walked. Despite his little buzz, he felt calm and at peace in his arms.

Until in walked Weiss.

Sephiroth had learned his name from the police report filed about Cloud’s assault, already a month in the past. He’d never expected he would see Weiss again.

It seemed Weiss had thought the same because when he saw Sephiroth and Cloud, he said, “Ah, you too! I almost went to prison because of you!”

Back at the bar, Barret seized joking around with Yuffie and turned towards the doors. When he who had just walked in, he felt fist clench in anger involuntarily. “Yuffie,” he said quietly. “Be ready to call the cops.”

Hopping up from her seat, Yuffie pulled her phone from her pocket and nodded.

Cloud might’ve been a touch drunk, but his mind was clear enough that Weiss’s voice registered in moments. Eyes snapping open, he pressed himself into Sephiroth’s side. He forced himself to meet Weiss’s eyes, hoping that pretending to not be threatened would intimidate him, but his stomach roiled the seconds their eyes met.

“I’ve thought about you a lot, y’know,” Weiss commented, taking a step towards them. “Even I’d landed in prison because of you, I’d never be able to stop thinking about you. The fear in your eyes, the way--”

Sephiroth’s fist collided with Weiss’s jaw just as Barret made his way over to were the three were, just feet from the door. As Weiss turned to throw a punch in response, Barret grabbed hold of his arms. Over by the bar, Yuffie had the cops on the phone.

But even as Weiss was taken away, Cloud’s eyes were locked on his, and he recalled everything that’d happened that night. On the drive home, Cloud didn’t wear goggles and instead pressed his face into Sephiroth’s back. He told Sephiroth he wanted to stay with him for the night.

But even as he lay in bed with him, wrapped in his arms, Cloud couldn’t keep Weiss’s grin out of his head. The blood from his split lip only made the image more terrifying. Weiss had said something on the way out that played on repeat in his head as well.

_“No matter how many people you have to protect you, you’ll never escape me. If I want you, I’ll have you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I love tormenting Cloud so much? The answer is simple: I don't. But conflict is important to plot, and character growth is also very important. I promise you that Cloud will come out of this okay.
> 
> Also, I have the title for the final chapter picked out. That doesn't mean this is close to the end, just that I know how I want to end it.


End file.
